As I graduate from UCR with a degree in history, Im going through the reality that this doesnt mean anything. I have no useful skill to provide other than researching or have knowledge of some things from the past.
So, Ive gone back to city college. And I like it. It takes me away from my bubble of UCR. Sure I have lots of friends there and made lots of them. But, it was a bubble. Everyone was my age, everyone was happy, everyone was taken care of.
When I come here, I see working people alongside students. I see the financial aid lines 200 people deep. In my microbiology class, theres old women there intent to get in and to promote themselves in life. In lab my professor goes over the safety procedures of the lab and raises concerns regarding pregnancy and AIDS, such that those who have it, may want to leave so they wont expose themselves or their child to harmful chemicals and microbes. When listening to this I remembered that we had none of this in UCR, Everyone at UCR was from rich privileged families who supported them. Pregnancy was not an issue. Nor was AIDS or other diseases. But here at SCC, this was real life. People are pregnant. People have communicable diseases, some people have health problems. I just thought this was a reality check for me.
When I walk to class I see little kids running past. Their parents a few years older than me. This is how life is. The unexpected does happen and here is the results of their actions. When waiting for my walking class in the dark, cold, and windy night, this "father" brings his kid to practice with him. The little boy was just walking, maybe a few years old. And the kid has no hat. no jacket, no shoes/boots. and he was just left out there. His father kept saying that he has no money, though he has a nice haircut and underarmor shirt on. His coaches keep telling him to put his baby inside a room or something or to get a job to get him a hat, but this guy was a jock, and he was like, yeah yeah yeah. Its just sad. What hurt me the most was seeing him throw a tennis ball at his son. Like how you throw something in the trash from far away. He threw it roughly hitting the child hard, but the child didnt cry because it was unaware of what hit him. Its pretty sad to see. But, thats life and this is the result of his decision. Also in my walking class, when waiting, I had this old asian lady come up to me to ask if I were the teacher. And I laughed. Thought it was cute lol.
Then, I had my swimming class. My teacher seemed energetic. She was a grandmother and looked relatively young still. In my class, there were old couples sitting next to me. All of the older people there were either retired or over 40. This shows me how there are old people who still want to go out and be active. Its really nice to see. Also I saw this fat white lady with her small chinese husband. Made me smile. especially when she leaned her head on him.
But its nice. I never would have seen this at UCR. The only thing close was seeing these soroity girls go out and buy a puppy, and not take care of it. So, these experiences really made me think critically into what life is all about
Thursday, January 20, 2011
Thursday, October 28, 2010
Teabaggers unite!
So a teabagger curb stomped a woman who was protesting. A mob took her down and this guy curb stomped her.
This is a video of a protester who crashed a teabagger meet and greet. Here is what the police did to him.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o1DEbnh7nsw&feature=player_embedded
Excessive force? Naw, its all good. Hes a protester. He even got the fattest policemen to basically body slamp him to the ground. Thats harsh
and what was soooooo great was tonite, Lawrence odonnell of the last word grilled these tea bagger leaders as whether or not they should get rid of medicare and social security because according to their definitions of socialism, there are socialist entities.
So epic. Soo great to watch
Thursday, October 21, 2010
My views of deleware teabagger canidate odonnell
"you may not be a witch, but you sure are one dumb bitch"
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Lk_5EkHYfUo&feature=aso
wow, shed fail so hard when it comes to "are you smarter than an 8th grader" scary to believe she made it so far
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P9SW0ZWzC8s
Wow, this is a case where we are not laughing with you, we are laughing at you.
I would be face palming so hard right now if I were a teabagger supporter.
But wow, she doesnt know the 1st line in the 1st Amendment to the constitution, she doesnt know that there is even a separation of church and state clause (thats bee...n around since the founders of our country, and implemented by the supreme court like 60 years ago) she doesnt know the 16th, 17th, and 18th amendments are too.
Wow, and she laughs when she doesnt know the answer....must make deleware voters really confident knowing that an 8th grader is smarter than her. Just appauling. teabaggers ftw, and this is why "she may not be a witch, but she is surely, one dumb bitch"
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9NxvPWEefps
Life is a stage and all the men and women are merely players.
Fuck that quote.
I like how ever girl I try to get close to either takes me for granted, or just is totally oblivious to me. We hang out, we go places, we talk together a lot, and when I get into a pretty bad car accident, this girl only asks "Hows your car?"
oh thanks, Im fine too.
you are def not a keeper. its not me you are missing, its definitely apathy.
4 years of going to school, taking classes together, sharing our thoughts and dreams all of a sudden ends when I get into a car crash and you are concerned more about my car than I am.
Funny thing life is.
My record is worst than the detroit lions a few years back who was like 0- 27. I just chalk this up to my scoreboard.
I like how ever girl I try to get close to either takes me for granted, or just is totally oblivious to me. We hang out, we go places, we talk together a lot, and when I get into a pretty bad car accident, this girl only asks "Hows your car?"
oh thanks, Im fine too.
you are def not a keeper. its not me you are missing, its definitely apathy.
4 years of going to school, taking classes together, sharing our thoughts and dreams all of a sudden ends when I get into a car crash and you are concerned more about my car than I am.
Funny thing life is.
My record is worst than the detroit lions a few years back who was like 0- 27. I just chalk this up to my scoreboard.
Another birthday, came and gone
On my bday.
woke up at 6am, got to work at 8am.
Worked from 8-6pm
Crammed from an accounting test thats from 7-10p
come home. parents bitch how I amount to nothing. Even I do almost all the cooking, cleaning, and fixing things at home, Im not a straight A student, Im not experiencing all the hardships they went through (So you are blaming me for your hard lives that you guys choose to make? You are blaming me for all your bad decisions and think I am supposed to experience them? Should I just all of a sudden, knock up a girl, and start a family so it can motivate me to work fulltime and go to school fulltime to get good grades?) What do you want from me?
no cake, no gifts, no party at clubs, or going to vegas like everyone else my age.
Just get home, and move along like nothing has happened.
Welcome to life. I guess.
All I have are skating, my dog, and my dreams. No more, and hopefully no less.
woke up at 6am, got to work at 8am.
Worked from 8-6pm
Crammed from an accounting test thats from 7-10p
come home. parents bitch how I amount to nothing. Even I do almost all the cooking, cleaning, and fixing things at home, Im not a straight A student, Im not experiencing all the hardships they went through (So you are blaming me for your hard lives that you guys choose to make? You are blaming me for all your bad decisions and think I am supposed to experience them? Should I just all of a sudden, knock up a girl, and start a family so it can motivate me to work fulltime and go to school fulltime to get good grades?) What do you want from me?
no cake, no gifts, no party at clubs, or going to vegas like everyone else my age.
Just get home, and move along like nothing has happened.
Welcome to life. I guess.
All I have are skating, my dog, and my dreams. No more, and hopefully no less.
Monday, October 4, 2010
I love you like a fat kid loves cake
since no one reads this except me, Im going to put something here that I would wanna tell my love someday haha
I got this from nick
I got this from nick
i love you like snoop dogg loves weed.
or like lindsey lohan loves cocaine.
or like amy winhouse loves booze.
or like david duchovny loves sex.
or like tiger woods loves white women.
this is from troy i thought was pretty fresh
you can call me Peter Parker, cuz im in love with Mary Jane
or like lindsey lohan loves cocaine.
or like amy winhouse loves booze.
or like david duchovny loves sex.
or like tiger woods loves white women.
this is from troy i thought was pretty fresh
you can call me Peter Parker, cuz im in love with Mary Jane
Tuesday, May 11, 2010
I gotta catch myself and say, why am I doing this?
Why am I doing this all the time? Its like the same thing over and over again, just the names, the people the friends all change.
The problem is that Im lead to believe that following someone would be cool and we can all hang out. Or it might turn into a romantic sense after hanging out. Whatever the circumstance maybe, it end result is always the same. I get burned. I get ignored, and things always gets awkward, or we dont talk, she moves on, im quick to be forgotten.
Today, I just had to step back and think things through. Why do I end up in these situations?
iono, maybe Im over thinking, over venting, or just had a bad day. But Im just thinking through all this.
Here are the names of those I blindly follow for romantic reasons that always turn up bad.
Mel.L, Kor.H, Car K, Mar N, Sir W, Yad S, Kina C, and I think these are about it for college. Its a lot yes. But I guess Im a guy that just is gullible and naive, and desperate for someone to feel close to.
Iono, I just feel like, Im so quick to let myself fall into everyone's little games. Like today I was skating with some friends. I didnt really want to skate, but I wanted to chill with my friends. It was two guys and one girl. The guys all had long boards, but the girl was on a bike. A racing bike. And Im just going along with it. But after awhile I notice how much they hover over her. She likes the attention. They keep saying stupid shit. I just hang back and follow the oligarchy. She makes the decisions, she gets the attention and the guys are so quick to follow and do whatever she says. There might be more to this as if they are really good friends, or are competing, for her love. Iono. Maybe close friends. Just her with the bike riding faster and forcing us on longboards to follow relentlessly behind her just made me thing about if this senario is what all of my failures been about. Just blinding skating and pushing myself over a false love or a dream in which the girl plays me out to the palm of her hand leisurely riding her bike, going faster than me all the time, making myself work to death for her whims.
I felt like this to the girls above. Whether to pick them up, or to drive them around, or to walk with them, or to hang out. Im always in the back scenes being ignored by them. Just being used. And its just that I was so blind to it until the end happens. As if Im thrown away once Im done. Or until they find someone better. And iono, I just feel like I was a fool. Being used and tossed away like that. I hate that feeling. I am my own person.
However Im quiet, I do wierd things, I say bad jokes, I lie, I dont keep my promises, and I am not that smart nor have talents. The lists goes on and on. But hey, thats me.
Iono if they picked up on that, or just used me because Im always here to listen to them. Im just something they talk to. Like a voicemail they just speak to and I dont really answer back.
Ive been really sensitive on the way in which others say that I cant hold a conversation or that I am just awkward to be around. Iono what to do. To them. I just say fine. And dont talk. Let them take the initiative next time to say something instead of waiting for me to mess up and be all critical about me.
Iono, but today really opened my eyes to my friends and the people around me.
anyways, thats what Im thinking right now.
Im just thinking, silently. Observing silently, trying to make conversation, but no one listens or cares. But here I am. I have my goals set high before me. They are on mount olympus looking down on me to get it. I feel that once I get it I am amongst gods.
I see all these people now as either dead or wounded. They wont last too long in the world and Im just silently laughing or amused in the rude awakening they will get. And to see they high chair come crashing down.
I hope if I meet them again, I can be the one they look up to and I can help them up to humble themselves. and then they can see why I was the way I was now.
oh well, that sounds hella creepy and wierd. Im a senior in college, and Im just doing lonely ass stupid shit lol. oh wells.
goodnite to anyone, prob just me reading it.
on a mental note, it was mothers day last weekend and her bday yesterday. I need to make a card and get a $5o macys gift card for her. *remember*
The problem is that Im lead to believe that following someone would be cool and we can all hang out. Or it might turn into a romantic sense after hanging out. Whatever the circumstance maybe, it end result is always the same. I get burned. I get ignored, and things always gets awkward, or we dont talk, she moves on, im quick to be forgotten.
Today, I just had to step back and think things through. Why do I end up in these situations?
iono, maybe Im over thinking, over venting, or just had a bad day. But Im just thinking through all this.
Here are the names of those I blindly follow for romantic reasons that always turn up bad.
Mel.L, Kor.H, Car K, Mar N, Sir W, Yad S, Kina C, and I think these are about it for college. Its a lot yes. But I guess Im a guy that just is gullible and naive, and desperate for someone to feel close to.
Iono, I just feel like, Im so quick to let myself fall into everyone's little games. Like today I was skating with some friends. I didnt really want to skate, but I wanted to chill with my friends. It was two guys and one girl. The guys all had long boards, but the girl was on a bike. A racing bike. And Im just going along with it. But after awhile I notice how much they hover over her. She likes the attention. They keep saying stupid shit. I just hang back and follow the oligarchy. She makes the decisions, she gets the attention and the guys are so quick to follow and do whatever she says. There might be more to this as if they are really good friends, or are competing, for her love. Iono. Maybe close friends. Just her with the bike riding faster and forcing us on longboards to follow relentlessly behind her just made me thing about if this senario is what all of my failures been about. Just blinding skating and pushing myself over a false love or a dream in which the girl plays me out to the palm of her hand leisurely riding her bike, going faster than me all the time, making myself work to death for her whims.
I felt like this to the girls above. Whether to pick them up, or to drive them around, or to walk with them, or to hang out. Im always in the back scenes being ignored by them. Just being used. And its just that I was so blind to it until the end happens. As if Im thrown away once Im done. Or until they find someone better. And iono, I just feel like I was a fool. Being used and tossed away like that. I hate that feeling. I am my own person.
However Im quiet, I do wierd things, I say bad jokes, I lie, I dont keep my promises, and I am not that smart nor have talents. The lists goes on and on. But hey, thats me.
Iono if they picked up on that, or just used me because Im always here to listen to them. Im just something they talk to. Like a voicemail they just speak to and I dont really answer back.
Ive been really sensitive on the way in which others say that I cant hold a conversation or that I am just awkward to be around. Iono what to do. To them. I just say fine. And dont talk. Let them take the initiative next time to say something instead of waiting for me to mess up and be all critical about me.
Iono, but today really opened my eyes to my friends and the people around me.
anyways, thats what Im thinking right now.
Im just thinking, silently. Observing silently, trying to make conversation, but no one listens or cares. But here I am. I have my goals set high before me. They are on mount olympus looking down on me to get it. I feel that once I get it I am amongst gods.
I see all these people now as either dead or wounded. They wont last too long in the world and Im just silently laughing or amused in the rude awakening they will get. And to see they high chair come crashing down.
I hope if I meet them again, I can be the one they look up to and I can help them up to humble themselves. and then they can see why I was the way I was now.
oh well, that sounds hella creepy and wierd. Im a senior in college, and Im just doing lonely ass stupid shit lol. oh wells.
goodnite to anyone, prob just me reading it.
on a mental note, it was mothers day last weekend and her bday yesterday. I need to make a card and get a $5o macys gift card for her. *remember*
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