Well into my 4th year here, do I find myself making to do lists, completing them, doing presentations, doing papers, doing readings, and studying extra hard for classes. Now Im more focused, mature in life, and have a goal set. Ive noticed that all my weekends now are being spent at my desk doing hw diligently and just reading on my bed. Ive been doing presentations for class as well as discover nursing club meeting. The other day I was giving advice to the new freshmen and sophomores interested in nursing. I told them to keep focus. Keep their drive. Take time to learn and expand their horizons. I feel like Im passing the torch in a way. Passing it down and telling the young generation not to do the same mistakes I have. As I was listening to my friend explain the interview questions when she was applying for the nursing schools, Ive reminisced all the experiences I had while working. The good, the bad, and the ugly. Seeing great nurses and doctors whom I try to aspire to, the horrible med students and seeing all of the disformed soldiers and people taking out of a tube in their throats, as well as all the politics and bullshit and kiss ass required just to remain afloat. The more I think of all my experiences, the older I feel I am. And to tell these youngins all that I had done made me believe more in myself as made me hope that I can do something great. Everything I do in life is for a purpose. Every challenge I face is to prepare me out in the real world. This is why when I face difficulties I face them with understanding. When faced with a simple challenge I spend more time in understanding the basics. I keep telling myself that I can achieve what I want to do. I need to put in the work for it. Even if no one believes in me. Not even my parents, I believe in myself. I can do it. I can talk to the counsellors at a jc to put me into their classes. I will pass those classes, I will apply to nursing school. I will get into nursing school. And I may or may not join the services. But I will have a career. I watched a movie about this old warrior who became a doctor and to live a life of peace without war. This is a life I want to live. Live a life free from bullshit and free from greed and corruption. I want to live free. No one dragging me down. I want to go where I want to go. See what I want to see. I can do this myself. I want to be there and help those who need it. All these things I think about, I hope for, I dream and see myself doing. These are somethings in which I can do so now. However, I wished I had done this when I started. Yet it is without going through so many mistakes do I now begin to understand all that I have done and to cherish next time all the opportunities that have been granted for me.
