The Good Life by Ghost Mice


I wish I was a bumblebee
I wish I lived to love my queen
fly from flower to flower all day
and I'd dance if I had something to say
everybody working to feed our babies
such a simple and honest community
not making money, just making honey
I wish I could make something that sweet.

I wish I was a mountain goat
I wish I didn't know all the things I know
Id eat alpine flowers for lunch each day
and take naps in the sun in some secret place
living high on peaks all covered in snow
in the valleys that no one else could go
what some people call danger I'd call my home
and I'd never have to hear another telephone

I wish that I could be them both
anythings better than being a ghost
I wish I was alive
I wish nobody ever had to die

I hate poster photographers, they take 1000 pictures of something they dont even care to know. and it still looks like shit

Now, I just have to say, this grinds my gears to the extent where i have to tell people. Fuck. Ok.

So today I went to a cafe place at our school called, The Barn, to watch some bands. And tonite, some of my friends are going to be performing. So anyways it was pretty tight. HAng out with some good company and enjoy the nite! Well, my friends were going to perform next. We were all excited and happy, so we all rushed to the front. My friends sounded amazing. It was a great show. Then, midway through a song, some fucking someass asian girl photographer with a camera the size of my head barges to the very front. And stays there. Im like, WTF, take your picture and get the fuck out. dont ruin this for all of us. I know you are a supposed photographer, but I dont bend to you because of that. now get the fuck out.

Anyways, whenever I turn to get a better view, even though Im in the front, her fucking camera is right in my face, and whenever she takes a fucking picture, it gives off a blinding flash. Now, this is a dark room, supposed to be all ambient, but with the mother fucking flash flashing non stop, it is such a distraction to the audience, but also to the performers, now, i think these bitches taking pictures dont even understand that. its so sad. Plus, for me, taking pictures is to capture the natural settings. I dont zoom in on someones finger and take a shitty picture of it. and for goodness sake, turn off the flash, cuz they already have lights over the performers, they dont need your fucking flash, and also, you should not stay there for more than 1-3 pictures, in that time you should go in and get out. you should know where are some key photo moments are, and then get the fuck out of there. it is so not considerate to step in other peoples views and it is just rude to the max. Fuck, those asshole of photographers ruined my mood today. Photography needs to keep it simple, keep it discreet, and keep it natural. you dont make others bend for you, you bend for your subjects. and actually know what is going on, if you are going to be a distraction, know something about your subjects. god damn! motherfucking assholes. fucking asian girls who try to pose like they are artsy indy cool photographers, when in actuality, your work is like shit. please. stop. be are real photographer and not a fucking obnoxious model photographer. if you dont, get the fuck out. jeebus. grrrrr

My highlight of easter day, one of the most cherishing things i wont forget

So today was a nice day, kinda sunny and all.

I went to a nearby church with my friend to participate in service and all. I was hoping to get a renewed sense of spirituality and thankfulness to Jesus, and all he has done for us. Im really grateful for that and all.

So then afterwards, apparently my friend and I were signed up to help set up and run the Easter Egg scavenger hunt.

Hey kids dont wanna know about the passion and know how Jesus was brutally crucified, bloodied, bludgeoned, dehydrated, intense nerve and muscle damage, a crown of thorns placed on his head puncturing his head and skull, the air stinging his hacked back where he was whipped with whips with bones and metal studs at the end of it, the forced march to carry his own cross throughout the town and up the hill, to know and see the place where you are going to be killed. All of this psychological and physcial agony is something no one now can comprehend.

however, we dont want the kids to know this, so candy and eggs are just as good.

and since no one like eating hard boiled eggs anymore, like what i used to have when i was a little kid, they are all eating out of these plastic eggs which are big enough to hold one muskateers bar, a snickers, a starburst, and a chocolate rabit or a few chocolate kisses, yeah i know what i put in there lol. we were told to put like only 1-3 candies in each egg. Though, I knew we had plenty, i was a baller and put like 5-6 or whatever I can squeeze like this. I was later scorned for this, a mother came up to me and asked, "isnt this the day in which we sacrifice to give thanks to the Lord?" and then I replied " Isnt this the day we should be joyous and gracious to the Lord? This isnt about candy to you, is it mame? Today is my gratitude and rememberance to the Lord and less about the candy, but to bring a smile to these children and have them discover something so precious to them and more bountiful is something that I try to aspire to today, and if you are still upset about the candy instead about being gracious to the Lord, then please ma'am, you should rethink your popurpose here" this was like a fuck you bitch, I do what I want answer to her, why the hell did you give out so much candy question.

So anyways, back to the story, I was having fun cheering on the little kids, it was so funny seeing them prancing around like little puppies lol. iono, they are just so innocent, they are so cute.
I see all of these kids dashing for these little green, blue, yellow eggs. I think I was a douche since I kept on putting all of my candy in the green and blue eggs, which makes it harder for these little kids lol. But it was just so fun to see them go at it. I was really happy. So then I see these kids with like 8-10 eggs already, and I see this little kid with only 2. I was like..awww, dood, whats up with 2 eggs? And this is where my competitive nature came out lol. I talked to him and I was like, are you having trouble finding eggs? he was like yes, everyone runs before me and takes them before I come. and he had like a little pouty face, I was like, awww, dont cry, my name is alex, and I will help you get some more eggs, and his eyes lite up, like wreally?? and I was like yup! so put a smile on and lets get dem eggs! haha. and he was searching for them even harder, he was looking in the most randomass spots, like under a tree and all. I was like, hey buddy, Im not that much of a douche to hide them in the most lamest spots (well for like 5 of them i did buried them, hid them in leaves, then in a big patch of grass, in a hole in the tree, and under a slide, kinda douchy i know, but i was going to get them on my way out and eat it on my way home, but i was like.....ehhhhh ok fine) so then, knowing where i put my eggs, I sorta guided my friend, (oh his name is Tommy) to some of these places where i hid it, there was this one egg I put that was out of reach from all the kids, cuz i wanted it, but i decided to help him and let him have it. but it was so gratifying. to see his eye light up after he finds each new egg! It made me happy to see him happy lol. Iono, but I was really involved to helping this kid out. I would point to like some leaves and I'll say, "what do you think about those bunch of leaves? would you think any eggs are in there?" and Tom will say, "in the leaves? but only silly things like worms live under leaves" and I would tell him to go check, and when he found the egg he would look up at me and jump holding the egg with both hands throwing it up into the air and then catching it. He would also fling his head back and stare to the sun and follow the egg as it came back into his hands. It was really cute to me lol.

but yeah, so afterwards he had like 14 eggs, beating everyone by like 3 eggs lol. He got his own prize of a gift basket and all. I was proud lol. I was talking to him some more, and then brought him to his parents.


....and then as he walked away, he came back to me and put a chocolate rabit in my hand and was blushing and covering his mouth with his long sleeve and said, thanksya and then ran back to his parents....

I think this is one of the most unforgetable things that I will cherish in my life and it had brought me some hope and humanity.

and so I wanted to share this so much and so this is why I am sharing this with you.

The runner who trips and falls during the last few steps only to see the guy who cheated walk all over him and take the win. story of my life

i can ollie over 2 boards now. i am very happy about that.

the thing about me tho. when i set my mind to something in front of me, i do it.

if its something that i have a fire inside of me and want it and know it, i do it.

this is only for small things like skateboarding.

I closed my mind to all that was going around, it was just me and the boards. an obstacle in my way only to go over it.

it was a windy day everything just blew, people were walking all around me, often seeing me fall.

no matter how badly bruised, broken, or bloodied, i will still get up and do it again. i feel like i will be the person that will die as i am doing something. whether it be running or whatever, i was continue as long as i tell myself. especially during wrestling, i was that kid who past out running.

It is this continued effort that i believe in is what drives me.

however, this doesnt apply to people or relationships to me.
no matter what i do, or who i meet, something always gets in the way.

Id feel like love isnt just meant for me now. like...

this one girl who i talked to for awhile and then she graduated and then we have still been keeping in touch, is getting swept off her feet by this guy who is loaded taking her out everywhere, visiting her fam, has the great group of friends and network back home, and yet doesnt do anything. this guy knows her for about 6 months and now is taking her on commitment like trips to hawaii and other places. it looks like they are serious, if she is happy with it, then i am happy with it too. i cant do anything right now, nor i want to be in the way of her feelings. so it feels like for this one, i am too far away, too distant, too poor, and wont be able to support her.

for another one, this girl is also very cute and very outgoing and very sweet. we are hanging out more and more and getting closer more and more. however, i know her bf had hit on one of my friends and kinda just wants a gf just because he likes asian girls. other than that tho, he is sorta still has feelings for my friend. and now the girl who is his present gf is so nice and pure that i just cant really handle stepping in. i dont wanna do that. not my place. not my thing. he has a good starting job, he seems established and able to support her. i just hope that she will be happy with him too. but honestly, i had feelings for her for a long time also, for years, but she was always taken by some odd boyfriends. she is something that i want in a girl. someone who is caring and considerate, outgoing, fun, and honest. but these qualities are in all the girls i meet who are taken.

i feel like i am the guy who is short of change to go into a restaurant and looks through the window from outside at everyone having a nice time inside. I just feel alone and out of it.

the third girl, was something more recent. something i never expected and liked. however, something was so fast and one after the other and past history, that i wasnt even in the picture. i guess i came onto a situation where the plan was all set and the ball in motion. aparently there was a guy who liked her just after her messy break up and so this guys friend was also her roommate. and so they were both really close and they both went along with helping the guy get this girl. so its like he would come by everyday and spend a lot of time with her. by time i came along, it was something sorta too fast and all. it was my mistake not realizing that. but next time will be different, if there is ever a next time. but no matter what, stay with the basic getting to know each other steps. so anyways, the guy and the girl i liked are together and i mean, it is one of the better relationships she has been in, so if she is happy then i can live with it. i cant get into the way because her bf is also her roommate who feels very passionate about keeping them together

anyways, i think the point i am trying to make is that i have sacrificed a lot to see another person happy at the expense of my feelings for them. iono if they know it, or can sense it, but i am not really the one to go all out and tell them. i feel like im the the guy who is so close to the finish line and trips over, only to see the person who cheated beat him to the line first.
even just remenising about it kills me inside, i actually cry inside when i think of my pathetic love life. and so this is why i turn to skating. it is something there and comforting. i have myself to be with as i acomplish more, i feel more confident and good as i land an ollie.