Vietnam War Stories of Leroy Crabtree. A loveable 306 lb santa claus looking, kind hearted harley davidson riding man

Leroy Crabtree.
He eats only double cheeseburgers and is an outright anti vegetarian of any shape or form.
in in his genes he says.
Mr Sam I am that does not like green eggs and ham kelly calls him Leroy of all Crabtrees.
Always asking him to try tofu scrambled eggs.
Leroy has major kidney and carpeltunnel problems.
His wife has an on going cancer that is slowly getting to him
He is not of the 1 percenter gangs. he calls himiself a motorcyclist.
He rides on a big black and white harley davidson with big saddlebags and looks pretty solid on it
He does not want to be in any leadership position whatsoever and we tease him about being our workleader.
He always tries to joke around with me to join the marines and go to marines ocs school lol. officer training corps.

These are some of his stories that I feel to keep around and keep forever.
Bootcamp.
Reception.
"What type of hair cut you want?" if you answer, they slap you aside the head and start shaving your head from the middle... then a, "get your ass out of my chair and into the corner. NEXT!"

"Blanket parties are when you screw up and blow it for your whole company, that nite two guys pull your blankets down so you cant move while everyone takes a turn beating you with soap bars inside their pillow cases"

"if you ever get a hangover and do your 6 mile run, you know who your true friends are when they hold both of your shoulders up and the guy that you barf on doesnt kick your ass"

"if you ever have a loose footlocker, the drill sergant will make you drag your footlocker to the middle of the parade ground. make you dig a hole deep enough for it, bury it, and then dig it up. the whole time, two of your friends or your whole company would be on guard during the whole nite while you are doing this. then the next day is your blanket party"

Army hospitals
officer comes "Smith! get your ass in my office!"
"Im not Smith sir, Im Leroy."
"The fuck you arent smith! Get your ass in my office, we are gonna pull some teeth!"
"oh no sir, Im hear to have my kidneys done. not my teeth"
"bullshit, get the fuck over here now!"
then an orderly tells the officer that he is not smith
leroy then sees his kidney doctor later in the hall
"sir, why didnt you see me for my kidneys?"
"we did already"

Vietnam
We would trade our C rations like trading cards.

We would encounter lots of landmines and boobie traps. The most common one that we came across were three landmines in a triangle formation. One will explode in the front. When everyone would spread out, two more will explode on the right and left. I saw 15 men die out of my platoon of only 28.

toe popers were a common trap the VK would set up for us.

I got doused and inhaled so much agent orange in my body.

sometimes the VK would charge at our firing lines and I would see our artilery canons horizontal because they were over run by the charge.